The Fourth Judge: Bolivian President "Jokes" About Giving Snowden Asylum, Has Hell of a Time Leaving Russia

by The Fourth Judge

Bolivian president Evo Morales was asked during a visit to Moscow if he would consider granting Edward Snowden political asylum. This is what he said:

“Why not?” Mr. Morales responded, according to news media accounts. “His case has triggered international debate, and of course, Bolivia is ready to take in people who denounce things.”

A bunch of countries responded by refusing to let him fly through their airspace on his way out of Russia, on the grounds that he might be harboring Snowden. His plane had to be re-routed so many times that it almost ran out of fuel and had to make an emergency landing.

First of all I’d like to issue an official LOL @ "Bolivia is ready to take in people who denounce things.” This isn’t a statement from a “world leader” at a “global energy conference.” This is your friend’s sorta weird friend with the overalls and no shirt confessing to you at a Fourth of July party that he likes licking butts. [[MORE]]

Which is totally fine but his girlfriend is standing next to him and she looks embarrassed and you feel sorry for her even though you like licking butts too and you’re starting to like the weird friend and maybe you are too judgmental when it comes to appearances. Sure, overalls and no shirt is a horrible look, just horrible, but ultimately who cares? Is that the worst thing in the world? Overalls without a shirt? Plenty of villains wear suits. We all know that.

The whole thing reminds me of the time I joked about getting a bomb through security right after I went through security for a Pearl Jam show at Continental Airlines Arena and was thrown up against a wall by event staff while a cop looked on.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?” shouted the event staff dude.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean it, I–”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?”

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT AFTER 9/11!”

This was June 2006 so 9/11 wasn’t the freshest tragedy, and it certainly wasn’t the most germane one to invoke at a concert  – I’d go with Altamont, personally – but shouting about the “bomb I just snuck through security!” within earshot of the sweaty, aggressive security guard who had just enthusiastically patted me down wasn’t the smartest thing I’d ever done and I knew it. I also knew that I shouldn’t have drank that entire bottle of SoCo in the parking lot, but I had just graduated college and was still discovering How To Be An Adult (directed by Noah Baumbach).

The security guard looked at the cop and asked if he should let me into the show, or if they should arrest me. The cop shrugged. Probably because I’m white. So the security guard let me go.

I can’t remember specifically if he scolded me one last time, but I feel like he must have. Fascists never miss an opportunity to get all fascist-y.

Anyhow, this is all to say that I hope President Morales has learned his lesson, and that next time he’ll get a beer and some peanuts, and maybe a t-shirt, then find his seat in the last row of the upper deck before he starts joking about blowing up a Pearl Jam concert.