The Fourth Judge: A Meditation on DMX

by The Fourth Judge

Sometimes I wonder if DMX originally wanted to be called Black Man X, but his friend was like, “but then you’d be BMX” and DMX was like, “what’s that?” and his friend was like, “it’s a bike thing” and DMX was like, “so what? I love bikes,” and his friend was like, “yeah but that would be confusing” and DMX was like, “fine I’ll be, uh, Dark Man X, DMX, whatever, but I’m gonna put a bunch of bikes and three wheeled motorcycles and shit in my videos and I’m calling us the Rough Riders” and his friend was like, “yeah but that’s Teddy Roosevelt’s thing,” and DMX was like, “fine I’ll spell it with a Y and a couple of Fs.”