The Fourth Judge

March 26th, 2012 7:53pm by Stiff Jab Tumblr

I’ve been gone for a while. My screen name on R2K is:

It always sucks to hear liquid when you’re not expecting it. Water’s coming through your bathroom ceiling.

Or like, your cat just spilled some orange juice all over your laptop. Or maybe someone’s blackout drunk and pissing on your leg.

Someone’s pissing themselves.

It’s never like “ooh, what’s that sound? Is that the ocean! Oh my god I’m on a caribbean vacation!”

Water. Giver of life. Water when you’re not expecting it. Fate worse than not getting into the 92nd Street Y preschool program. THE HORROR!

Chase is a brutal game predicated on athletic disparity and shame. You split a gym class into two teams. The teams start on opposite ends of the gym from each other and run in a circle around cones trying to catch each other. When a player has run a lap he hands the baton to the next person in line.

YOu can only win chase if there is a gross athletic disparity between the two teams. A professional Chase league could never exist because you would never be able to catch up to a team of professional runners that starts on the other side of the gym as you. Even if you dropped the batan.

Japanese tranny who cooked penis and served it to people.

Highschool crush got married. Guess I can’t fuck her/become a professional athlete.

Girl peeing on side of road with help from mom

Kids are fat because of bubble guns.

You know what I like? When you forgot you were downloading porn and then the bubble from bit torrent pops up that says “marci marci butt blast in brazil has finished downloading”. It’s like getting a pay check for a job you didn’t do!