Kenny Robertson vs Aaron Simpson

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Aaron Simpson went vegan to cut down to welterweight. He cares deeply about animal rights, but his peaceful nature is not apparent in the octagon. He’s a fucking beast at 170. Live updates after the jump:[[MORE]]

Round 1: Kenny Robertson throws a kick, but it is blocked.  Kenny lands a nice left.  Kenny misses with a kick.  Kenny ties up Aaron against the cage and throws some knees.  Ref is telling them to work.  Simpson reverses and the fighters disengage.  Fighters unload on each other and it looks like Simpson lands the better punches, but then they clinch and Robertson lands some knees.  Kenny is bleeding from his forehead.  Simpson drags Robertson to the ground.  Robertson gets up and tries to throw a spinning elbow, but it doesn’t land.  Simpson tries to throw Robertson down, but he is able to roll out of it and as Robertson stand up he lands a massive left and Simpson’s right eye is immediately bleeding.

Fighters exchange and Simpson has underhooks and is working knees.  Kenny lands a shot as they disengage, but Aaron is back on him and is working for the takedown, but Simpson lets it go and Robertson turns him around and works for a takedown of his own.  Robertson works to Kenny’s back and has a bodylock and gets a takedown and has Kenny turtled on the ground with 40 seconds left.  Simpson lands a few, but Robertson stands up and lands some elbows, Kenny lands some elbows.  Simpson goes for a guillotine, but lets it go and the round ends.

10-9 Simpson, but it was very close.

Metro commercial.  The UFC is moving to metro.  Everybody is moving to metro.  I don’t know what it is about that actor’s voice.  Sort of a bit of self-important surfer brah lilt to it.  Sounds affected and foolish.

Round 2: The fighters clinch, Simpson lands a knee.  Simpson has a bodylock and has Robertson’s back.  Simpson is landing knees to the butt, but Robertson is defending well.  Simpson lifts Robertson and Robertson is on the ground, but sweeps out and is back on the feet.  Robertson throws a spinning backfist, but misses and  Simpson gets a takedown and is on top with three minutes to go.  Simpson has a wrist and is popping Robertson in the head.  Robertson is able to get up, but Simpson is controlling him pretty well and gets in a few punches.  Robertson throws another spinning backfist and Simpson ties him up again.  That move is shit and results in a takedown more often than not.

Simpson has Robertson in a move that I think they call a grundle to the face and is probably trying to submit him by farting while Robertson goes for a leglock of some sort.  Simpson gets around to Robertson’s back and is trying for a submission, but I’m not sure why he doesn’t just keep punching.  There he goes.  Lots of punches.  Really beating the shit out of Robertson as the round ends.

10-9 Simpson, who is really starting to take control of this fight. 

Round 3: Simpson throws a kick.  Robertson throws one of his own.  Simpson thows a spinning back kick.  Robertson goes for a single, but simpson has his head and is going for a trip.  Fighters break up and Robertson lands a punch.  Simpson is on Robertson again with a bodylock and drags him to the ground.  Simpson is in good position and is popping a turtled Robertson in the side of the head.  Now Simpson goes for an armlock and has an inverted trinagle, but Robertson uses his leg to lever himself out of it.  Simpson is back on Robertson’s back though again.

Simpson picks up Roberson and drops him on the ground again with two minutes left. Can’t believe the amount of energy Simpson has after such a massive weight cut. He is throwing Robertson around.  Simpson is now posturing up and popping the downed Robertson who is taking a lot of punishment.  Simpson now has a side mount and is trying to get an arm loose, but robertson is keeping his hands locked together.  Simpson goes back to punching, which are a much better option and Kenny Robertson is able to hold out until the round ends.

I score it 30-27 for Simpson. Judges score it 30-27 and 29-28x2 for Aaron Simpson.  First round was close and hard to score. The other two went for Simpson for sure.

There’s the crabby old guy telling me to buy a Victory motorcycle again.  The official motorcycle of crabby old people. These commercials are terrible. Gatorade makes candy now. They call it energy chews. Gatorade is fucking genius at making delicious shit that they pretend is good for you, but is really just like salty Kool Aid. I bet those energy chews are like rebranded Chuckles. How much you want to bet the first ingredient is corn syrup? You better be exercising when you’re consuming that shit or you’ll be a major fatass. Cures hangovers though (the liquid version that is). Must be those electrolytes (fancy name for salt).