Kenny Florian vs. Diego Nunes

Kenny Florian fighting in his fourth UFC Weight class; this is his featherweight debut. Ms. Octagon is already shouting at the TV and calling Florian Millhouse. She really doesn’t like his face. Florian looks scary ripped and has a 7-inch reach advantage.

Diego is wearing some Acai gear. One of our former clients lost a pile of money on some sort of Acai-drink based pyramid scheme. Dodge is never neutral. This must be a new slogan because we would have already noticed such a terrible slogan.

Diego Nunes is closing his eyes and pointing his hand up the air to connect with the Lord Jesus Christ before he does his cagefighting. Round-by-round updates after the jump:

Round 1-Nunes is throwing a lot of punches that are missing by a foot. Kenny goes for the takedown and Big John smacks Diego on the back of the head for holding on to the cage. Nice reffing.

Diego takes Kenny down and gets a bunch of elbows to the body for his troubles.  Fighters are clinched and Florian gets the better of the exchange. Nunes is cut in the back of his ear somehow.

Florian ducks under a kick and scores a takdedown to end the round. Diego gets up.  Diego throws a flurry of hooks and caches Florian, possibly winning a close round with one punch.

Nunes 10-9 but really fucking close.

Round 2-Not a lot of action so far. Florian goes for a takedown and fails. Diego gets Florian down and Kenny is landing some elbows. Kenny goes for a triangle, but doesn’t sink it.

Nunes is looking really bloody right now, must be cut behind his hairline. Big John stands them up. Something happened when I was getting a drink and Florian is on top. This round sucks ass.

Round 3-Out of scotch and we lost our bitters so we’re drinking Jim Beam and Vermouth on ice. Not half bad, but could really use some bitters. These giant motherfucking ice cubes from a tray I just bought really help. They keep that shit cold without really watering it down because we didn’t have time to shake it properly between rounds. (Editor’s note: Sounds like someone needs a column on cocktails)

Florian is on top. Raining down shots. Nunes is bleeding all over the place. Nunes finally manages to get up. Florian gets the better of the strking. Nunes catches Florian at the bell, but it is too late.

Florian takes the round and the fight. 

Good welterweight debut for Florian. He should win this one easily. No question in the second or the third.

Judges score it 29-28, 29-28, and 30-27 all for Florian. That first round was close, but it could have certainly gone to Florian.

The crowd is booing. That fight wasn’t bad. They’re probably just restless because there have been a ton of decisions.