Francis Carmont vs. Lorenz "Leg Kicks" Larkin

Round 1- GSP in Francis Carmont’s corner.  He’s a Canadian.  We’re rooting for Team USA here.  Lorenz Larkin.  Carmont with a weak hook.  Fighters trade kicks.  Carmont lads punches.  Larkin not really pushing the action so far other than some nice leg kicks.  Carmont shoots for the double.  Larkin switches to a single.  Larkin goes down, but gets right back up.  Lands some elbows to the head a la Travie Browne, while he is pushed up against the cage.  Carmont grabs Larkin’s leg again and Larkin just hops around on one foot and punches him in the head.  Carmont gives up, goes back for the double leg.  Takes a few more elbows to the head.   More elbows.  Carmont ain’t doing shit.  Fighters break up.  Jab from Larkin.  Leg kick from lLarkin.  Foolish moustachio swings back and forth majestically.  More kicks from Larkin.

Round 2- Nice groin kick by Larkin.  Big head kick from Larkin just misses.  Spinning back kick from Larkin.  Left hook from Larkin.  Leg kick from Larkin.  Spinning thigh kick from Larkin.  Radical.  Left hook from Larkin.  Right from Larkin.  Carmont shoots again.  Larkin down for a second, then lands more elbows to the head.  Nice takedown defense from Larkin thus far.  Leg kick from Larkin.  Another leg kick from Larkin..  Fuck yeah, more leg kicks.  Nice right from Carmont.  This just in, Larkin looks like Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  Huge leg kick from Larkin.  Spinning leg kick from Larkin.  A veritable leg kick clinic.  Carmont shoots, gets another elbow to the head.  Gets the takedown.  Larkin lands more elbows to the head as the round ends.  Lovely.

10-9 Larkin. Round 3- Head kick from Larkin blocked.  Dumbass Carmont shoots again and Larkin swings at him and falls down.  Carmont is trying to jump on Larkin’s back.  Grabs a leg and Larkin jumps out of it again.  Carmont is just failing at takedowns and getting his legs kicked.  Carmon shoots again.  Gets the takedown finally, but ends up in a loose triangle.  Gets out of it and is now on top of Larkin.  Larkin knows he has this fight won and is just trying to hang on.  For a guy who insisted on the takedown, Carmont isn’t doing shit on the ground.  Larkin sinks in a kimura and Carmont has to roll out off it and now Larkin is on the top.  Fighters stand.  Nice kick to the body from Larkin.  USA chants.   This fight is locked up for Larkin.  Pretty sweet flying kick from Larkin as the round ends.

I’ve got it 29-28 Larkin.

Judges score it 29-28 for Francis Carmont.  Eh.  No points for stuffing takedowns I guess.