Dr. Scotchtagon Presents: Octomore 5_169

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Recently our esteemed editor dropped a pretty fancy bottle of whisky on me as a small reward for the endless weekends I sacrifice in the name of mixed martial arts: Octomore 5_169

Octomore is made by Bruichladdich, a distillery that’s sometimes criticized for having too many expressions. Octomore is its most heavily-peated expression, and is billed as the most peated whisky in the world.

So what’s with the serial number? I believe the five stands for the number of years the scotch is aged (it’s also Edition 5.1, for those of you that have tried previous editions). The 169 is the parts per million of phenols, which provides the peaty flavor. The short explanation: that’s a shitload of peat.

Here is a longer explanation (after the jump):[[MORE]]

There are many different flavors of scotch, from the sweeter, lighter varieties, to the heavier, smoky varieties. Scotches vary by region, and to paint things very broadly, most of the smoky scotches come from a region called Islay. The smoky flavor is created by drying the malt with fire from peat, a prehistoric conglomeration of plants preserved in bogs. By smoking the shit out of the malt, a distillery can give it a really peaty flavor and impart peat phenols, which are measured in PPM by those in the know.

Laphroaig is 40 PPM and typically considered unbearably peaty by just about everyone that doesn’t like their scotch with hints of campfire. So, on paper, this whisky is more than four times peatier than one of the giants of Islay, a whisky that blenders use just a small amount of to get a more bearable smoky flavor for their blend-swilling masses.

This is where shit gets sketchy. That PPM number that we’re talking about is the phenol content of the barley, rather than the spirit itself (it’s always higher when you measure the barley). There are also two different ways to measure it (high pressure liquid chromatography and colorimetric analysis), which typically yield very different numbers (I am sure the marketing department just picks the higher number, which is usually from the chromatography).

Remember when I said that Laphroaig weighed in at 40 PPM? The new make spirit has a peat content of 25 PPM. Who the fuck knows how much is left when they age it for ten years. What I’m trying to say is that while the PPM number is a decent guide (basically if it is over 30, you’re in for some serious smoke), it isn’t the greatest descriptor at the extreme ends of the spectrum. So the next time one of your douchebag whisky nerd friends tries to impress you with various PPM figures, just make sure to tell them that there is a heaping pile of marketing bullshit factored in.

In other words, while this whisky is about as peaty as any I’ve ever tasted, it doesn’t taste four times peatier than Laphroaig or Ardbeg. Maybe one and a half times as peaty. What I suspect is that there’s probably only so much phenol that the whisky can absorb, but I don’t know enough of the science to make a definitive pronouncement. I am sure that our readers will let me know their opinion as always.

Anyway, back to the flavor. I made the mistake of tasting this without any water added. In addition to the intense peat content, Octomore 5_169 also contains almost 60 percent alcohol, making it the most extreme beverage since Four Loko. It doesn’t say cask strength on it, but that’s pretty much cask strength. So while it may be more expensive than your typical bottle, you’re getting a little less than 50 percent more booze per bottle (typical scotches are usually around 45 percent alcohol).

After adding a decent helping of water, I was surprised at how great the Octomore tasted. Yes, it was still quite smoky, but not overpoweringly so.  Way tastier than any five-year-old whisky has any business being. Octomore really challenges the notion that older is better. Sweet and peaty with flavors of grain and honey, maybe a little citrus before the finish, which is dominated by smoke that will linger in your mouth until you brush your teeth before bed.

I’m going to give this bottle of Octomore 5_169 a 157 out of 158.3. Totally excellent. I started out the night drinking a 2002 pink champagne from Moet with my wife, but felt as though these drams helped make me a man again.

Scope this space this weekend for more manly shit. I’ll be covering UFC 162 on Saturday. I didn’t even buy the last Pay Per View because the card sucked balls, but the main event for this one is worth the price of admission. See you then, bitches.